I learned lots of unsavory things I deeply regret knowing. But if you aim to stay employed as moderately successful creative director in advertising (or in most industries), then I have the following horrible advice.

Sadly, many people mistakenly believe that if you do something, you should know how to do it.

Being around older people also carries the serious risk that you might unintentionally “catch old.”

Minnesotans love sauces.

We accept a lot of toxic wind that makes us feel bad about ourselves and each other. If you're looking to be hired or doing some hiring, maybe avoid the following.

Advertising is like dating.

If you spend all your time talking about yourself no one’s going to want to take you home.

A glossary of completely nebulous terms and what they probably mean.

I know what wins and what doesn’t. And why. And I’m not a dick about it

As a responsible, profit oriented industry we have taken steps to develop advertising that reduces creative effort.

Layoffs are a faster way to recoup revenue than increasing sales.

Yes, because we’re jelly. But not for what you think.

Dear beloved Advertising Overlords in charge of hiring…

It’s nauseatingly unfair I am writing this preposterously stupid post.

Welcome to LinkedIn

I know, I know...

It’s not the party you wanted to go to.

There are two kinds of people in this world.

Those who utterly despise spreadsheets and those who have been flimflammed.